There are many scientifically proven benefits of deep breathing. Here are just a few and an easy breathing technique that will have you feeling better in 2 minutes.
Many women are feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled. They have bought an idea: if they're beautiful, earn enough money, have a perfect family, are CEO or a celebrity they will feel loved, successful, and happy.
I know this isn't true because I have had the privilege of coaching hundreds of women, and many of them have achieved these types of goals. They're financially secure, they have their family, some are CEO's for large corporations, and some are celebrities, making tons of money. What they all have in common: they all crave meaning and fulfillment and their accomplishments aren't satisfying that craving.
Experiencing fulfillment is something that money, a perfect body, or the love, attention, and approval of others doesn't provide.
Being happy and fulfilled is a two-part problem, requiring a two-part solution. It's a spiritual and practical problem that requires a spiritual and practical solution, and you can't do one without the other.
The spiritual part of the problem: this is the belief that you're not enough - not good enough, not smart enough, not lovable. It's the reason why you're driven to work hard. You want to prove that you can be loved, you can achieve, you can be respected, you can be admired. But the victory is hollow because even if every other person in the world believes it, you still don't, and you won't until you do the work of healing this part of yourself.
The practical part of the problem: because you've had these beliefs you've relied on external validation and accomplishments to bolster you and no amount of external validation will ever be enough.
If you're to experience true fulfillment, you're going to have to do the work of learning who you are and how to care for yourself. I'm not talking spa days and cocktails on the beach here. I'm talking about real, transformative work, where you learn about what makes you tick and how to care for yourself.
I'm not going to sugar-coat this, it's a journey, not an overnight fix, but I know it's possible, and I know the rewards are magnificent. Doing this work with a Life- Coach gives you a team-mate, someone who can show you the ropes and guide you through the tough stuff.
You're a smart woman who has managed to achieve great things in your life; this could be your greatest.
This post is part 2 on the topic of Isolators and Fusers and focuses on Isolators in relationships.
Click here to read Part 1. Are you a Fuser?
The relationship dynamic of Isolators and Fuser is described in the book Getting the Love You Want by marriage counselor and therapist, Harville Hendricks.
Isolators can feel smothered by intimacy in a way that feels similar to being stuck in a room with no windows. They are afraid of being controlled and overwhelmed. They tend to want to do things on their own and aren't good at keeping in touch throughout the day. They can appear to be disinterested in other people, and this can feel hurtful to their partners.
Isolators often choose to be in a relationship with Fusers, and Fusers decide to be with Isolators. Why is this?
The answer is polarity. There is magnetism in being with someone who exudes a polar opposite way of being, which is very sexy in the beginning. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long before partners start to realize that they have trouble connecting (as is the case for the Fuser), and enjoying independence (for the Isolator).
You can see how a couple can start to become frustrated and resentful in this situation, and the quality of the relationship can suffer.
This dynamic plays out in many relationships, and I want to encourage you. It does not mean the relationship is doomed. The key to working with this dynamic is awareness.
Once you understand the push-pull of your interactions, you can:
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you think you're an Isolator or a Fuser? How is this dynamic shaping your relationship?
Most important of all, what can you do to support yourself in your relationship so that you can get your need for autonomy or connection met?
If you're feeling aimless or that your life is lacking direction, meaning or purpose this coaching tool can be a lifesaver. It's simple but don't underestimate it. It's a true friend in helping you get clarity on what really matters.
This first video I will take you through the thinking behind the strategy and help you understand why it works.
I talk about the difference between a "means goal" and an "end goal" and why it's important to not confuse one with the other.
I also briefly explain why growth, contribution and experiences are key to a life that feels meaningful to you.
I this next video I take you through the 3 questions you can explore to discover your "end goals".
Having a clear idea of your "end goals" is crucial in creating a life by design, a life that feels good to you. Please don't be shy to contact me if you have any questions or comments.