How you think..

“How you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it”
~Norman Vincent Peale


I’m reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. It’s a classic and every page has nuggets of great wisdom that align and reinforce, from a biblical perspective, what Jill and I teach at 1 Life by Design.


This quote struck me as being especially helpful when we feel stuck or struck down by circumstances. Life can deal gut blows that can drain your energy leaving you discouraged and spent.


I had an experience like this just last week. I woke up feeling cheerful and then a friend called and her news felt like someone pulled the plug on me. Almost immediately all my energy drained. I felt depleted and going back to bed seemed like a legitimate, next-best step, except it was 10am.


The “facts” were not pretty and in that moment, I couldn’t think clearly, but I have a personal strategy for moments like this and I’ll share it with you, in case you find it useful.

1. I don’t talk to anyone until I’m in a better feeling place. Yeah, I know it seems counterintuitive and many “experts” would say that this is exactly the time when you NEED to talk to someone, so let me clarify - this was not a chronic situation of depression or anxiety. This was more of a "what-just-happened" reaction and experience has taught me that talking to other people, when I’m feeling a reactive, is not my first best step. It can lead to disaster.
2. Meditate or if that feels like too much of a stretch, listen to 15 -20 minutes of an uplifting message (YouTube, Podcasts etc). Even better - listen while going for a brisk walk. It’s amazing what happens when I do this. It’s instant relief. It gives me 15 minutes of pause between me and the issue.
3. Do the work - This is usually when I do a Judge Your Neighbour worksheet or now is when I might talk to someone but only if that person can help me see my problem from a clear perspective. I don’t want commiserations, or “I told you so.” I want to talk to someone, like Jill, who will help me see the issue from a different perspective. This is also the stage when I’ll listen to Abraham, do a Journey worksheet or some other process to give me a clear perspective that aligns with my values and beliefs.

I found that this 3 step strategy works for me because I start to see how my thinking about the “facts” is obscuring my power to be resourceful and to respond rather than react. It reveals to me that I am less defeated than I thought I was.


This is living a life by design.


When I did this process last week it took a little while to recover but I got there and the lessons I learned in my recovery were huge, lifetime influencing ahas. By the next day, I was deeply, authentically appreciative for the whole experience. It contributes to feeling even more confident in my ability to navigate and design my life.